Little Ernie stands up in class one morning, waves his arm and says, "Miss Goodbody, I won't be in school next Friday because of my father's funeral."

"My god!" exclaims Miss Goodbody," what happened?"
"Well," says Ernie, "he tried to hammer a nail into the wall and hit his finger."

"But he couldn't die from that," says Miss Goodbody.
"I know," replies Ernie, "but he kept on howling like a mad dog, so we had to shoot him." ......OSHO